i just have a lot of feelings about dinosaurs, okay?

Tuesday 23rd June 2015 @ 1:02 am : Rants : 0 Comments :

(This started off as a comment on Fred’s Jurassic World review on The Movie Notebook… I now realise that it got totally out of hand so I am posting it here instead. Some of this will not makes sense unless you’ve read his review, so maybe do that first. Since he wrote an actual “review” and I just shouted at a computer screen for two entire pages… #sorrynotsorry)





That’s is, that’s your warning.

Before I go on to fucking shred the film, it should be stated that I enjoyed it enough for my first post-film comment to be: “My new life goal is to be a dinosaur fight choreographer.” And for a film that had as many goddamn problems as Jurassic World did that’s saying something.


1. The dialogue & character interactions felt like someone wrote a particularly unspecific algorithym for an action movie script plugged in the character names and relationships, and then added the words “dinos” “Raptors” etc in at strategic points. It was fucking terrible to the point that my sister who doesn’t often read for fun and doesn’t really like to think critically about media went on a rant about it. I cannot stress how badly written the humans in it were. Like, Claire is set up to be a highly capable executive-type character who thinks more about spreadsheets and stocks than other people (my kind of woman, let’s be fair), who is then thrown into a situation COMPLETLEY OUTSIDE any life experience she had probably ever had and proceeds to be thoroughly badass at THAT TOO. To the point that she literally saves the life of the “hero” and then comes up with and executes the plan that saves the day. Owen, on the other hand, is the emotional one: he connects with dangerous fucking animals through body language and tone and he cares about his raptors as much as he cares about other people. So it is thoroughly out of character for Claire to be the one crying over a dead dino- fuck that, it’s Owen who should be shedding a single manly tear over the death of creatures that he respects.

1a. The dinosaurs had better and more consistent characterisation and emotional arcs than any of the human characters. I am ALL HERE FOR THAT SHIT. The next one better be all dinos, all the time. Fuck those humans. DINOSAURS IN SPACE. Ahem.

1b. CLAIRE. I LOVE HER. She spends most of the film having her life choices invalidated (“When, not if” FUCK OFF), being belittled (“that’s why you and I never had a second date”) and pretty much all-around being shat on for being good at her goddamn job (too many to quote) to the point that after she SAVES THE “HERO”s life and he kisses her someone sitting behind me went “SHE DOESN’T DESERVE HIM” (fuck you too, sir). SHE’S THE ONE WHO FIGURED OUT HOW TO BEAT THE BIG BAD DINO, OKAY? SHE PUT HERSELF INFRONT OF A T-REX AND SAVED THE DAY. Owen was pretty much useless compared to her and- And, I just- I can’t- I love her, okay? You deserved better, Claire. Especially better shoes.

1c. The real romance in this film was Owen/Blue and no one is going to convince me otherwise. I bet he has a RAPTOR SQUAD 4 LYFE tattoo somewhere embarrassing.

2. REPRESENTATION MATTERS. This is one of those “this is the hill I choose to die on” things, because: representation matters, people getting to see themselves reflected in the media MATTERS (like, it has been scientifically proven that non-white and non-male children have better self-esteem and are less prone to depression when they see “people like them” represented). HOWEVER. If you are going to kill a full FIFTY PERCENT of your non-white male characters (of course I counted), and FOURTY PERCENT of your white female characters (going up to fifty percent if you discount the mom), it’s probably for the best that they don’t have any non-white female characters because I would fucking hate to see how they fare. And, yes, I am aware that many white male characters died but almost every other character was a white male so your percentage there would be like ten percent? Maybe? If I was willing to have a rage-induced embolism I’d watch it again and keep count, but i’m not so someone else can do that). Basically, if you are going to do that, just: don’t. If you can’t treat your PoC and women the same as you do your white men then frankly I would prefer that you just not include them at all. Be better, Hollywood, it’s fucking 2015 already. (We wouldn’t be having this problem if they had just gone with me “all dinos, all the time” idea… Call me, Hollywood!)

2a. Pterodactyls. Totally with you on that one. When you don’t even kill the UNAMBIGUOUSLY EVIL character that gratuitously, you gotta ask: dudes, why you hate women so fucking much? Jesus christ. Get some therapy. Etc, etc.

2ai. That entire problem and more could have been solved by not making the military dudes with the FUCKING GATLING GUN so FUCKING USELESS.

3. What kind of space-age mother fucking batteries were in those 20-year-old night vis goggles? I can get behind a kid who knows his way around an engine being able to revive a 20-year-old Jeep, because that is basically what they were made for, but fuck. I leave batteries in my game boy for six months and they fucking melt. No. THERE NEEDS TO BE SOME SORT OF LOGIC HERE. SUCH BAD WRITING. Someone needs to round up the writers of this and hit them with a rolled-up magazine until they learn to WRITE BETTER.

3a. Whoever thought that the line “We stick together. For survival” was a decent line, let alone a good way to END THE FUCKING FILM needs to be taken out to the back of the lot and shot. Not necessarily fatally, but definitely shot. That entire “reunion” scene should have been scrapped. End with the raptor running off after the t-rex, cut to the t-rex roaring over the abandoned park. You could maybe insert some news-type footage about the disaster in between, but seriously. (I am super mad about the terrible quality of the writing in this film. You may have noticed.)

4. I want a grown-ups dino petting zoo. I WANNA RIDE THE DINOSAUR. WHY DO THE KIDS GET TO HAVE ALL THE FUN, HUH?

5. Whoever decided that people should be able to control those gyro-ball thingies themselves was basically asking for something like that to happen. Never trust the general public with anything. Ask anyone who has ever worked retail. STEP IT UP, HOLLYWOOD. God.

6. “God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs.”
“Dinosaurs eat man, woman inherits the earth.”
If the next film isn’t DINOS IN SPACE (“Jurassic Universe”) then it should absolutely be a future in which women and dinosaurs are peacefully co-existing, led by Claire, Blue and the T-Rex. Chris Pratt can be just a sweaty and dirty as he was in this film, only shirtless. And he is the exhibit. Shut up and take my money, Hollywood.

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Sunday 28th September 2014 @ 8:36 pm : Tumblr : 0 Comments :



But the wage gap varies significantly by race, according to an analysis from the research organization AAUW. While white women experienced that 78 percent figure, Native Hawaiian and Pacific Islander women made 65 percent of what white men made in 2013, African-American women made 64 percent, American Indian and Alaska Native women made 59 percent, and Hispanic women made just 54 percent. Asian-American women are the only group doing better than white women, making 90 percent of white men’s earnings.

Woah, staggering.

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Friday 6th September 2013 @ 5:52 pm : Tumblr : 0 Comments :




Seanan McGuire went on a very long, very excellent rant on Twitter this morning, and I felt it deserved to be organized.

why i adore seanan mcguire with every ounce of my heart. i shall provide her with a cookie the next time I see her.

Co-signed. 😉

Reason #4,534,234,098 why I love Seanan McGuire.

I am so bored of the straight white male narrative. I only realised last week that I’ve barely read any fiction that has a straight white male protagonist recently. Bane Chronicles (non-straight, non-white, half-man half-demon). Gallagher Girls series (women. All the awesome women, and some awesome men that support and work with them). Hunger games (Straight, not white despite what the film would have you believe, female). The Miseducation of Cameron Post (non-straight characters of all genders and sexes). The Lies of Locke Lamora (Straight male, textually biracial, possibly white, up for interpretation). Untold (straight, non-white female). Huntress (non-straight, non-white female).

Gotta say, I am very happy with this state of affairs. That’s not to say I’m not a fan of the boys. Good Omens, The Hardy Boys, GENERATION KILL, Thirteen Reasons Why, Feed, Looking for Alaska. Guys are great, but their stories are not my stories. I’ve been brought up by their stories, and it takes a lot for the straight white male narrative to give me something new and interesting (example: Ocean at the End of the Lane, A+)

And now I have to go watch 14 incredible women kick the asses for 14 other incredible women. wftda.tv, oh yes, it’s time for LONDON ROLLERGIRLS vs ROSE CITY ROLLERS AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHO WILL WIN AND I DON’T LIKE IT. LETS GO LONDON AND WOW THIS DEVIATED FROM MY ORIGINAL POINT FAST #DERBY4LYFE

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Sarah Rees Brennan: catsteaandtentacles: : swanjolras: god, i hate teenage girls, they’re…

Monday 29th July 2013 @ 8:47 pm : Tumblr : 0 Comments :

Sarah Rees Brennan: catsteaandtentacles: : swanjolras: god, i hate teenage girls, they’re…

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Thursday 20th June 2013 @ 11:45 pm : Tumblr : 0 Comments :






“We went to Kineshma, that’s in Ivanovo region, to visit his parents. I went as a heroine and I never expected someone to welcome me, a front-line girl, like that. We’ve gone through so much, we’ve saved lives, lifes of mothers, wives. And then… I heard accusations, I was bad-mouthed. Before that I’ve only ever been “dear sister”… We had tea and my husband’s mother took him aside and started crying: “Who did you marry? A front-line girl… You have two younger sisters. Who’s going to marry them now?” When I think back to that moment I feel tears welling up. Imagine: I had a record, I loved it a lot. There was a song, it said: you have the right to wear the best shoes. That was about a front-line girl. I had it playing, and [his?] elder sister came up and broke it apart, saying: you have no rights. They destroyed all my photos from the war… We, front-line girls, went through so much during the war… and then we had another war. Another terrible war. The men left us, they didn’t cover our backs. Not like at the front.” from С.Алексеевич “У войны не женское лицо”

In the Soviet Union, women participating in WWII were erased from history, remaining as the occasional anecdote of a female sniper or simply as medical staff or, at best, radio specialists. The word “front-line girl” (frontovichka) became a terrible insult, synonimous to “whore”. Hundreds of thousands of girls who went to war to protect their homeland with their very lives, who came back injured or disabled, with medals for valor, had to hide it to protect themselves from public scorn. 

This has always happened in history: Women do something important. Then they get shamed for it (so nobody will talk about it) and it gets erased from history.

And then certain men will say: “Women suck, they’ve never done anything important.”

Look into history and learn that women have played a far greater role then douches (present and past) wanted you to know.

Hey Will (and Jack) I got you something.

So this is important. Let me tell you a story.

All the time I spend debating about women in combat, I’ve picked up on a trend that disturbs me. Supporting or attacking, people are quick to draw on biology, psychology, law, but very rarely – almost never – do I hear about the history of women in combat, and the evidence their service lends to this debate.

Hundreds of thousands of women faced combat in WW2, and on both sides, and on all fronts, and it is a history that has been almost completely erased from contemporary awareness. I have been given arguments about how women can not psychologically handle combat. And about how women in mixed-gender combat units will automatically disrupt group cohesion – the brotherhood, if you will. Both of these assertions are erasure.

Women have not lived in a protective bubble untouched by combat for all of history. Women have been killed, wounded, and captured in combat, and tortured after. We are not living a world where these are hypothetical situations women have yet to prove they can handle. Unfortunately, they have, they can, in the future, they probably will, again and again. Soviet women served as partisans, snipers, tank drivers, fighter pilots, bombers. And more.

Both British and American women served in mixed-gender AA units. I could drag you through several examples of British women performing exemplarilyy despite being wounded, or seeing their comrades die. The Luftwaffe did not discriminate. Between the British and the Americans, it was determined that mixed gender units actually performed much better than all male units, because of teamwork. Because women are better and certain tasks, men are better at certain tasks, and at other tasks they are comparably efficient, and in a team, hopefully, in combat, you let the best do what they are best at. For the most part, they were proud to serve together. 

German propaganda never commented on the British AA units, but they thoroughly smeared the Soviet fighting woman – flitenweiber. People often argue with me that women are a threat to group cohesion because men naturally give women preferential treatment. Which certainly explains why men are more likely to survive shipwrecks. And history shows us that Germans soldiers had no chivalrous compunction when it came to shooting captured Soviet women who were armed.

We’re fed a history of war that almost exclusively features white male figures, most of whom fit into this destructive constructed myth of the soldier that is somehow both chivalrous and charmingly womanizing and who’s sense of brotherhood is unshakably dependent on the band being all man. There is no history of woman at war, none. I hear a lot about how women have no upper body strength, I hear nothing about the Front-Line Female Comrade.

THE WORD FRONTOVICHKA BECAME A TERRIBLE INSULT – are you fucking kidding me? Fuck, that made me cry. At first when I started reading I thought I was reading alernate history fiction. I’m ashamed to be ignorant about this, and full of rage and much worse bitter shame that this history is constantly repressed, suppressed, hidden. WHAT THE FUCK. D: D: D:

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I find the comment, “oh, you’ve lost weight” insulting.

Thursday 21st June 2012 @ 2:29 pm : Tumblr : 0 Comments :

No matter how positive the intention behind it.

have lost weight: I weight nearly two stone less than I did pre-knee surgery.

But that’s because I’ve lost most of my muscle tone, which has in turn turned to fat, which weighs significantly less. 

So, yes, I have technically “lost weight”, and I’m pretty damn upset about it.

Give me back my weights, my resistance training, my medicine balls, my kettlebells, my boxing gloves, my derby gear – and I will put all that weight back on and then some more.

And I will start kicking the asses of people who say “you look so good, you’ve lost weight!”

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Sunday 4th September 2011 @ 5:33 am : Tumblr : 0 Comments :

For even the most ardent feminist historian, male or female -citing Amazons and tribal matriarchs and Cleopatra- can’t conceal that women have basically done fuck all for the last 100,000 years. Come on – let’s admit it. Let’ts admit it. Let’s stop exhaustingly pretending that there is a parallel history of women being victorious and creative, on an equal with men, that’s just been covered up by The Man. There isn’t. Our empires, armies, cities, artworks, philosophers, philanthropists,inventors, scientists, astronauts, explorers, politicians and icons could all fit, comfortably, into one of the private karaoke booths in SingStar. We have no Mozart ; no Einstein; no Galileo; no Ghandi. No Beatles, no Churchill, no Hawking, no Columbus. It just didn’t happen.

Nearly everything so far has been the creation of men- and a liberal, right -on denial of it makes everything more awkward and difficult in the only run. Pretending that women have had a pop at all this before but just ultimately didn’t do as well as the men, that the experiment of female liberation has already happened but floundered gives strength to the belief that women simply aren’t as good as men.

CAITLIN MORAN – HOW TO BE A WOMAN  (via anexplosionofthespianhotness)
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Sunday 4th September 2011 @ 3:25 am : Tumblr : 0 Comments :

I’ve read more about Oprah Winfrey’s arse than I have about the rise of China as an economic superpower. I fear this is no exaggeration. Perhaps China is rising as an economic superpower because its women aren’t spending all their time reading about Oprah Winfrey’s arse. If I knew more about China, and less about Oprah Winfrey’s arse, I could probably argue a direct cause-and-effect.

How To Be A Woman’, Caitlin Moran (via bardattheback)
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Saturday 3rd September 2011 @ 8:50 pm : Tumblr : 0 Comments :

I cannot understand anti-abortion arguments that centre on the sanctity of life. As a species, we’ve fairly comprehensively demonstrated that we don’t believe in the sanctity of life. The shrugging acceptance of war, famine, epidemic, pain and lifelong, grinding poverty show us that, whatever we tell ourselves, we’ve made only the most feeble of efforts to really treat human life as sacred. I don’t understand, then, why, in the midst of all this, pregnant women – women trying to make rational decisions about their futures and, usually, that of their families, too – should be subject…

Caitlin Moran
Caitlin Moran - How To Be a WomanHow To Be a Woman
(via Emma Banton)
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Lipstick Feminists: How I Became An Unintentional (Male) Feminist by Morgan Evans

Friday 22nd July 2011 @ 1:53 pm : Tumblr : 0 Comments :

Lipstick Feminists: How I Became An Unintentional (Male) Feminist by Morgan Evans

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Wednesday 20th April 2011 @ 10:55 pm : Tumblr : 0 Comments :

This kind of thing makes every feminist bone in my body quake. People can do what they want, however, I’ve thought about these attitudes a lot, and I’ve come to the conclusion that at least some sexism lies at their black little heart. What these positions boil down to is that there’s one model of “success” in athletics and sports and it is: corporate, male. WHY, why oh why, does roller derby have to mimic this model of professional male sports teams to be considered “successful,” to be considered “sustainable,” to be “taken seriously”?!?!??!?! FUCK. THAT. is my opinion. I take roller derby fucking seriously every day of my life. I don’t care if it’s accepted as a “real” sport by society at large. But I think that people crowing about the masses misconceiving that roller derby is “scripted like professional wrestling” are the ones RESPONSIBLE for keeping that notion alive. And fucking who cares? The people who come to bouts immediately understand that it’s not a joke. More importantly, the girls who come to practice get their asses kicked and immediately understand it’s not a joke. Sure, it has a sense of humor and playfulness, and that’s some of what makes it stand out. There are tons of women’s sports teams out there mimicking men’s professional sports teams and, sadly, they don’t and may never get the attention of their male counterparts. I think roller derby has a chance to make a mark by showing a different model, driven by the passion, creativity and athletic prowess of the women involved. We can define our own version of success and it doesn’t have to be what history tells us it should be, what the market tells us it should be, what mainstream society tells us it should be.

Vivi Section, CCDG (via malicemunro)
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Caffeine-free faux punk fatigue: “Feminism is a step towards ‘imagining people complexly'”

Thursday 17th March 2011 @ 10:43 pm : Tumblr : 0 Comments :

Caffeine-free faux punk fatigue: “Feminism is a step towards ‘imagining people complexly'”

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Monday 29th November 2010 @ 11:13 am : Tumblr : 0 Comments :

Feminism is about choice. Sometimes I think if I repeat that enough, people will get it. This time I’ll let another blogger repeat it for me, since I think she’s spot on:

“ Feminism (at least my brand) doesn’t oppose sexiness, but it opposes compulsory sexiness.

It’s the difference between putting on makeup to look like your slutty fantasy, and putting on makeup to leave the house. Between wearing heels because they make your ass tight and your legs long, and wearing heels because they’re in your dress code. Between smiling at a sexy stranger and having "hey honey, why aincha smiling” yelled at you. Between having sex because your pussy is wet and your muscles are quivering, and having sex because it’s time to put out.

And I’d go further and say it’s also the difference between being a sex worker because that’s a legitimate career option, and being a sex worker because it’s the only way you can eat. It’s the difference between sexified female bodies being used as porn, and them being used as decorations and advertisements. Maybe most importantly, it’s the difference between women being taken seriously when they talk about sexuality, and women not being taken seriously when they’re not sexy enough. “

And I’d add that the opposite is also true. It’s the difference between dressing modestly because it’s comfortable or keeps you warm, and dressing modestly to avoid being jailed or raped because you were "asking for it.” Between liking football and Grand Theft Auto because they entertain you, and liking football and Grand Theft Auto because you don’t want to dare to have stereotypically “girly” hobbies. Between forgoing makeup because you’re too lazy in the morning and forgoing makeup because otherwise you won’t be taken seriously at work. Between choosing nerdy t-shirts because you think they’re funny, and choosing nerdy t-shirts because your friends will heckle you if you wear anything feminine.

Compulsory anti-sexiness is not the solution to compulsory sexiness. There’s not one right way to be a woman.

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