Do you know the horrors that happened where you’re standing?
Life goes on, strange isn’t it?
Wow This is fucking brilliant. My new favourite post on tumblr.
This is truly a work out art, props to whoever created this
- Right Whale: It has an upside-down head — a bold move that pays off.
- Sperm Whale: Has a silly name but really excels in all areas of being a whale: staying underwater, fighting squid, spraying sonar around the sea, looking like an ocean bus. Having teeth rather than baleen means not having to eat krill.
- Narwhal: Sea unicorn that has ocean sword fights. Slightly less cool when you realize its horn is actually a big tooth, making it the whale version of this.
- Orca: Doesn’t look anything like the other whales and hangs out around the Pacific Northwest, so it’s basically the hipster whale. Eats real food like seals rather than krill. Was in Free Willy, but, then again, was in Free Willy. Kind of an asshole, but you can’t argue with success. Secret shame: actually a dolphin.
- Humpback Whale: Basic canonical whale. Has good press. Bit too mainstream, really.
- Beluga Whale: Ongoing experiment in whether white privilege applies to cetaceans.
- Blue Whale: Coasting on its size; must try harder.
- Gray Whale: Blue whale that’s smaller and more boring.
- Minke Whale: Kinda puny for a whale.
- Fin Whale: Second biggest animal in the world, i.e. the first loser. Described by Roy Chapman Andrews as the “greyhound of the sea,” and we all know what Captain Hank Murphy of Sealab said about greyhounds. (”Too pointy.”)
- Beaked whale: You are not a bird, please reconsider your choices.
- Pilot Whale: Dolphin with ideas above its station.
You Aren’t Boring I Just Suck At Conversations I’m Sorry: a novel by me
I’m Not Ignoring You I Just Don’t Know What To Say: a sequel by me
I Feel Like I have Nothing Interesting To Say So I Don’t Say Anything At All And I’m Really Sorry Don’t Stop Talking To Me: the trilogy.
brain: it seems like problems are happening. would you like to pretend they’re not & think about fictional characters instead
me: yes please
@ellon_wheels why are you ⭐ing my pain?? Don’t ⭐my pain!! :p
It’s not really sports until you’ve got at least one blood blister. #rollerderby
It gets better—the guy is deaf, and he taught his cat the sign for “food.” So the cat’s not just saying “put that in my mouth,” it’s actually signing
Not only that, but if you notice at the beginning, the cat *gets the man’s attention* as any person who wanted to talk to a deaf/hoh individual would (well, and vice versa IME). I’ve done sign since I was 5, and generally, w/o eye contact initially, you wave a hand or lightly touch the arm (if that’s ok with the person you’re trying to converse with, of course).
Generally, adult cats meow mostly to humans, but this cat has figured out that’s not going to work and has adapted. Animal companions! They are INCREDIBLE.
EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND LOOK AT THIS CAT.
AND THE WAY IT NODS OMG
SO MANY UNNECESSARY STEPS!
pep pep pep pep pep
Me: *goes to Jurassic World* I’m here for the main attraction
Park Staff: Ah yes the dinosaur, she’s…
Me: No, Chris Pratt. I’m here to see Chris Pratt where is he
‘Hello land dog, I am water dog.’
Tags: Catnip, Cats, he figured out where the catnip was coming from, Hilarity, I don't care, i lol'd, Someone on the street looked at me weird
Catnip is a hell of a drug.
@ThreeUK I have to have a data connection to activate in touch? Surely the point of using it is that I don’t have signal so no data??
@ThreeUKSupport my postcode is bn1 3jh, the website says I have full coverage, could you check there’s not a mast problem in my area please?
@ThreeUKSupport yes, I even did a factory reset on one and it didn’t change anything. Phones are saying no service/emergency calls only
@ThreeUKSupport both are on contract! I can receive texts, sometimes send them, but no phone calls in/out and no internet on the S3 :s
@ThreeUK I can’t make calls/send texts on either of my phones but I can get 4g Internet on my s5. It’s been like this for a day now, help?