I am far too sober to be in Brighton on a Friday night. AND YET. The bus cannot get here fast enough.
Motivation, where the fuck did you go? Come back pls.
GUESS WHO SAT ON A WHEEL. Oh Roller derby. You’re so bad for me. Why can’t I quit you?
(thats days 1 & 2)
Alright ladies listen up. I don’t know if y’all have heard of this, but this little app right here is called Clue, and it is literally the equivalent a superhero sidekick for your pain in the ass period. This awesome thing will tell you when you’re due, when you’re fertile, when you’re PMSing and how your whole cycle pans out. Not just that, it also gives you a whole ton of information about what’s happening inside your body at certain times of the month, which is both hella reassuring and also pretty interesting (yes I have read it when I’ve been bored and yes I now know the whole menstrual cycle, don’t be too jealous). It also calculates your averages and shows you your cycle history (so you can see if you’ve skipped or become more regular etc), and it lets you enter details about the day like what mood you were in, what pains you had, how heavy was your flow, what’s your sex drive like etc etc
Basically what I’m saying is that this is the goddess of period apps and y’all should bow down before it and download it bc it’s a complete blessing to have this when you’re struggling with your time of the month, it’s just to keep things organised and keep track, I mean it even reminds you to enter details from the day like wtf is that not the coolest
tl;dr: basically download the fuck outta this app called Clue, your lives will be all the better for it
can you download this to your computer if you don’t have a smart phone?
I have never thought about it in this context
that’s actually really, really creepy.
I once pointed this out to my mother and she just stared at me, in stunned silence for ages.
There will always be a girl who is less sober, less secure, with less friends walking in a darker part of town. I want her safe just as much as I want me safe.
Ahh, it’s back
i have disproportionately strong feelings about this.
every time i say “nah i’m not gonna watch it again.” BUT I STILL DO EVERY TIME.
Mommy teaching babby easier water drinking way because drinking water is hard experience u get it in your nose. Jesus how she puts her paw on his head in the second one. Such concern and love.
THIS IS THE CUTEST THING I HAVE EVER FUCKING SEEN FROM CATS EVER
YES ALL OTHER VERSIONS OF THIS MEME CAN GO HOME.
someone wrote a post about forgetting to take their medication which reminded me to take mine
whenever I mention medication people end up commenting saying ive reminded them
so this is a friendly reminder for us to take our medications
I just remembered to take my medication, thanks
For any of my followers who need to take your medication
back the fuck up
There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up.
So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him.
The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off.
Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes.
did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out
This just keeps getting better
I fucking love history.
ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok
so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yi… OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire.
The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponent’s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, y’know, kinda sucked.
On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like “shit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.” Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And that’s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap
When Sima Yi comes he’s all like “yo come on in bro”
and Sima Yi is like “yeah he’s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluff” and he’s about to head in when he realizes
wait. he knows that i think he’s bluffing.
and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army – recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like “he know that I know that he knows that etc.”), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave.
Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan was based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, there’s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat.
and that’s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely just to deceive one man, and it worked.
Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his side’s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river.
Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy.
Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then he’s like, ”Ok guys that’s enough.” They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemy’s arrows.
Zhuge Liang is legend.
I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History.
Sir Christopher Lee, more fantastic than all of us. ALL OF US.
Performed in a metal opera as Charlemagne.
Schooled director of original and only worthwhile Wicker Man about ancient Druidic practices.
And blessed with the most authoritarian voice ever. And I think he’s like 1,90m tall
The only person in Peter Jackson’s LOTR cast to have met and conversed with J.R.R Tolkien
Corrected Sir Peter on the sound a person makes when stabbed in the back due to actual experience with that action
He didn’t just perform as Charlemagne; he’s directly related to the great Frankish king.
His WWII service was in the British Special Forces.
He was an SOE agent, right?
That he was
He is my hero
Was a good friend of Ian Fleming and met the assassins of Rasputin.
So what you’re saying is he’s the most interesting man in the world.
I can dig that.
you never really know someone until you play uno with them and the motherfuckin asshole hits you with a draw four
The history of film in one scene
Gus has had enough of the film industry’s nonsense
REFUSE to CONFORM to SOCIETAL NORMS, GENDER ROLES, or the HARRY POTTER EPILOGUE
Bisexuality – Where straight people think you’re gay and gay people think you’re straight
more like when straight people think youll have a threesome and gay ppl tell u that u need to pick a side