Mae Martin: «No it’s made of vegetables.»
Tags: ablism, disability, psa: don't do that
So I had a really unpleasant experience on Saturday night – a woman harassed me in a movie theater because of my guide dog and her perceived notion of “blindness.” I was going to blog on it, and I still might, but the whole issue got me thinking about something related that deserves discussion.
It’s not talked about as much as other “-isms” (racism, sexism, etc). Some might say it’s because it happens less, it’s less prevalent, etc. But I don’t think so. I think people need to talk about it way, way more than they do now, and in a very different.
When most people think of ableism or discrimination against disabled people, they think of distinct, extreme, obvious things – disabled people being rejected for jobs they are qualified for, for instance. And while that happens, I don’t think the average person realizes the ableism that occurs in every day life.
Here’s an example from my upsetting encounter Saturday night.
After being harassed by a woman who was accusing me of faking my disability and threatening to call the cops to the theater, a worker approached me and asked me for “proof” that my dog was really a service dog. I informed that asking me for proof is illegal in the US as many service dog users self-train their dogs and wouldn’t have “proof.” She assured me she believed me and was on my side, but if she was going to report the woman to her manager, she knew her manager would ask if she got “proof” from me first.
Sounds logical, right? I mean, she was just trying to protect me.
Except not really.
I had done nothing wrong. I was within my rights to have my service dog. I hadn’t even complained about the woman harassing me yet. *I* was the one being attacked – and yet, *I* had to provide ID and proof that I was disabled/my dog was a service dog. If the woman had called the police like she threatened, she would have been the one in trouble, not me. If the theater was really on my side, they would have stood up to the woman, regardless of my “proof.”
Sadly, there’s this odd perception that people “pretend” to be disabled to get perks.
No, really, there is. After telling this story, I had numerous people tell me “Well, they have to ask for proof because people take their non-service dogs places.” I won’t say this NEVER happens, but I will say I doubt it happens very often. And, on top of that, even service dogs can be asked to leave any facility if they are misbehaving/clearly a threat.
But, as I said, lots of people seem to think abled people fake disabilities. I’ve been yelled at numerous times for “faking” my blindness because I “looked” at something. Well, yeah, I did look – because I have some remaining vision. But people don’t know that. They don’t know that 90% of blind people have some remaining vision. And before they ask questions, they make decision. They place themselves as the morally correct and attack the person they assume is doing something wrong.
This opens up a whole topic of invisible disabilities that I don’t think I can go into right now. But, just FYI, invisible disabilities are a thing.
So you’re probably think “Well, I get all that – I wouldn’t do that – I’m not ableist.” But more there’s more to it than that.
This post is getting lengthy, so let’s get into lists. Okay, here are a few ableist things lots of people do with no ill will or intent that are still offensive/inappropriate.
1. Using phrases like “What are you, blind/deaf?” Even if unintentionally, it implies that blind/deaf/other disabilities are bad things. Or that only someone with those disabilities could do something like run into a door, not hear someone yell to them, etc. It turns the disability into an insult.
2. Referring to non-disabled people as “normal.”
3. Telling a disabled person how “amazing” or “brilliant” they are for doing normal things or just being alive – I don’t know. Strangers tell me how “amazing” I am for going upstairs. It’s obnoxious.
4. Assuming a disabled person won’t enjoy doing something because of their disability rather than asking them. (See also: assuming a disabled person’s limitations rather than letting the person state their own limitations.)
5. Assuming a disabled person requires your help before asking. (It implies the disabled person isn’t capable. Always ask or, even better, wait to be asked.)
6. Describing a disabled person by their “struggles.” So, like, in books where half the narrative is about how HARD it is for that disabled person because of their disability.
7. Talking to a disabled person only about their disability – keep in mind they have full lives outside of their disability.
8. Speaking on behalf of people with disabilities instead of letting them speak for themselves or asking them how they feel about something first.
9. Attempting to relate your abled experience in a conversation about disability. For example, during conversations about blindness, I’ve had numerous people say they “get it” because they once did an exercise where they were blindfolded for x-amount of time. Not the same thing, guys.
10. Whining about “perks” disabled people get (special seating, special parking, boarding planes first, getting extra time on tests, getting to take their dogs everywhere, etc). Abled people are privileged, and none of these small things makes up for that for those of us with disabilities. Also, even if you can’t SEE a disability, it’s best to let it go. Again, not all disabilities are visible, and disabled people are frequently accused of lying when they aren’t. It’s stressful and upsetting.
So yeah. That’s definitely not ALL of the smaller ableist things that occur in daily life, but maybe a few that will get some people thinking. Also, I”m very open to having a discussion about this. I am not the “voice” of disability (oh, yeah, let’s add an eleventh note – Saying things like “my cousin is disabled and he isn’t offended by….” No one speaks for the whole minority group. We all have different perceptions) so if you want to add or if you disagree – I’m open to hearing it.
In the mean time, thanks for reading this massive, massive tumblr post.
ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY GLOW CLOUD
You have already been assimilated.
Welcome to Night Vale.Tags: john green, night vale, the fault in our stars, tifios, welcome to night vale
when someone says “ten years ago” i think about the 90’s not 2003
“Dear brothers and sisters, do remember one thing: Malala Day is not my day. Today is the day of every woman, every boy and every girl who have raised their voice for their rights.
Dear Friends, on the 9th of October 2012, the Taliban shot me on the left side of my forehead. They shot my friends too. They thought that the bullets would silence us. But they failed. The terrorists thought that they would change our aims and stop our ambitions, but nothing changed in my life except this: weakness, fear and hopelessness died. Strength, power and courage was born. I am the same Malala. My ambitions are the same. My hopes are the same. My dreams are the same.
The wise saying ‘the pen is mightier than sword’ was true. The extremists are afraid of books and pens. The power of education frightens them. They are afraid of women. The power of the voice of women frightens them. Through hate-filled actions, extremists have shown what frightens them the most: a girl with a book.
Peace is necessary for education. In many parts of the world, terrorism, wars and conflicts stop children to go to their schools. We are really tired of these wars. There was a time when women social activists asked men to stand up for their rights. But, this time, we will do it by ourselves. I am not telling men to step away from speaking for women’s rights. Rather, I am focusing on women to be independent to fight for themselves.
Today we call upon all communities to be tolerant – to reject prejudice based on caste, creed, sect, religion or gender. We cannot all succeed when half of us are held back.
We call upon our sisters around the world to be brave – to embrace the strength within themselves and realise their full potential.
Let us pick up our books and pens. They are our most powerful weapons.
We must not forget that our sisters and brothers are waiting for a bright peaceful future.”
Whose intervention ensured Star Trek saw the light of day?
Answer: Lucille Ball
Most people recognize and remember Lucille Ball as the lovable and silly star of one of America’s earliest and most loved sitcoms, I Love Lucy. What most people don’t know is that Lucille was a savvy business woman and that she and her husband Desi Arnaz had amassed a small fortune and owned their own studio, Desilu.
It was at Desilu that acclaimed Sci-Fi screenwriter and visionary Gene Roddenberry got his big break. Roddenberry pitched the Star Trek pilot to the studio as a sort of Western-inspired space adventure. While many within the studio balked at the idea, Lucille liked the idea and the first pilot was approved and filmed. The pilot was pitched to NBC and was promptly rejected on the grounds that it was too intellectual, not enough like the space-western they had been lead to believe it would be, and audiences wouldn’t relate to it. Lucille, a fan of Roddenberry’s work, pushed back against NBC and insisted they order a second pilot. Ordering a second pilot was a practice almost entirely unheard of and save for Lucille’s charisma and clout with the network it would never have happened.
Roddenberry shot the second pilot, NBC accepted it, and Star Trek premiered in 1966, thus beginning a new era in the Sci-Fi genre and laying the foundation for half a century of Star Trek fandom–an era that would have never come to pass without the intervention and insistence of Lucille Ball.
Bonus Trivia: After her divorce from Arnaz, Lucille bought out his share of their studio. As a result she became the first woman to both head and own a major studio. (*)
Now I love Lucy.
So few people know about this! Too few. Glad to see this turning up here. Also: it was through Lucille Ball’s influence that the concept of the rerun (previously unknown and thought to be worthless by studios to whom it was pitched) finally took hold. Desilu essentially pioneered the concept of syndication, and of the “syndication package” — the minimum number of episodes (initially 65, now sometimes more) necessary for a series to become commercially viable, via onward sales, for longer than its initial live run.
We have a lot to thank Lucy for besides that beautiful rubbery face. 🙂
This is just another way that we can remember that as women We. Created. Scifi.
Never let anyone tell you that women are a recent addition to fandom. From Mary Shelley on, horror, sci fi and fantasy have been a women’s realm since the beginning.
fuck. I never knew this. A NEW FOREVER REBLOG.
There is much, much more to know about Lucille Ball and her contributions to pop culture, but even more to know about her and her contributions to feminism.
Without Lucille Ball, there would never have been a Mary Tyler Moore.
The Untouchables, Mission: Impossible, Mannix, the Andy Griffith Show, Dick Van Dyke, My Three Sons, I SPy and That Girl were all part of what she, specifically, realized were going to be popular, often despite everyone else saying she was wrong.
Desilu bought RKO, though later sold many of the rights to films from that incredible collection.
As a company,they developed the standard multiple camera format that is used on all sitcoms today.
Today, what was once Desilu, is known as CBS Televisions Studios.
She was an older woman who married a younger man — a Cuban, which in those days was an interracial marriage — through elopement. It was, for the times, scandalous.
So scandalous, that the radio show that ultimately became I Love Lucy was sidelined because Executives didn’t think the public would go for it.
A Cuban headlining a major hit was and is a major win, that is often overlooked these days because of the stereotypes that came from such a popular show.
Together, her and Desi were incredibly shrewd. When the sponsor, Phillip Morris, wouldn’t pay for the expense of filming the show, they said they would take a cut in pay in exchange for the rights to the film, and ended up owning I Love Lucy. It would be two decades and change before CBS got it back, and then under some terms that were favorable to Lucille and Desi’s children, ultimately. Both of whom were born when she was in her 40’s.
She registered as communist in the 1930’s, and as a result, was brought up before the damnable McCarthy HCUAA. She supported Roosevelt for President, and then later voted for Eisenhower — showing that she was more interested in doing what’s right, over doing it for personal gain.
She was one of the greatest women of the last century, a “B movie queen” who changed the world in ways that are, as is often typical, consistently overlooked.
She was the prototype that pushed women to question the status quo, the icon that many struggled with and against, an example that reverberated with people old and young when marching and shouting and arguing about a woman’s right to be her own person and have control over her own life.
She not only inspired it, she lived it.
i’ve always loved Lucy. ^_^
One factor that makes interaction between multi-ethnic groups of women difficult and sometimes impossible is our failure to recognize that a behaviour pattern in one culture may be unacceptable in another, that is may have different signification cross-culturally … I have learned the importance of learning what we called one another’s cultural codes.
An Asian American student of Japanese heritage explained her reluctance to participate in feminist organizations by calling attention to the tendency among feminist activists to speak rapidly without pause, to be quick on the uptake, always ready with a response. She had been raised to pause and think before speaking, to consider the impact of one’s words, a characteristic that she felt was particularly true of Asian Americans. She expressed feelings of inadequacy on the various occasions she was present in feminist groups. In our class, we learned to allow pauses and appreciate them. By sharing this cultural code, we created an atmosphere in the classroom that allowed for different communication patterns.
This particular class was peopled primarily by black women. Several white women students complained that the atmosphere was “too hostile.” They cited the noise level and direct confrontations that took place in the room prior to class as an example of this hostility. Our response was to explain that what they perceived as hostility and aggression, we considered playful teasing and affectionate expressions of our pleasure at being together. Our tendency to talk loudly we saw as a consequence of being in a room with many people speaking, as well as of cultural background: many of us were raised in families where individuals speak loudly. In their upbringings as white, middle-class females, the complaining students had been taught to identify loud and direct speech with anger. We explained that we did not identify loud or blunt speech in this way, and encourage them to switch codes, to think of it as an affirming gesture. Once they switched codes, they not only began to have a more creative, joyful experience in the class, but they also learned that silence and quiet speech can in some cultures indicate hostility and aggression. By learning one another’s cultural codes and respecting our differences, we felt a sense of community, of Sisterhood. Representing diversity does not mean uniformity or sameness.
Bell Hooks, Feminist Theory: From Margin to Center (pages 57-58)
Crucial to communication.
Every day I fall a little more in love with bell hooks.
Astronaut readjusts to life back on Earth
> Don’t give him a baby for a while.
HE GRABS THE CUP BUT THEN HE DROPS THE PEN 0.0003 SECONDS LATER
AND HE LOOKS UP AT THE CEILING INSTEAD OF AT THE GROUND WHEN HE CAN’T FIND THEM
I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING HE JUST DROPS IT
IT’S NOT FUNNY IT’S VERY LOGICAL THAT HE WOULD HAVE ADJUSTED TO LIVING LIFE WHILE HE WAS IN SPACE BECAUSE IT’S DIFFERENT FROM EARTH BUT I CAN’T FUCKING BREATHE
HE DOESN’T DROP THEM
HE PUTS THEM THERE
BUT THEN THEY DON’T STAY THERE
Guys, hey, guys. Do you remember that time that Coulson called Natasha and she ended up forming the Avengers? Remember how she did that by digging up Bruce Banner and introducing Steve to him then was the voice of reason when Tony and Steve were bickering and then how she brought Clint back from being mind controlled so that they can be a team? Remember that? Remember how the Black Widow out smarted a god? Remember that time she kept her shit together when the Hulk attacked her, even though she was really scared? Remember when she knocked an alien off his flying scooter and figured out how to drive it despite it being extrateresstrial tech, then got her ass up to the top of Stark Tower, found Loki’s staff and saved the world from being invaded by turning off the machine?
Remember how she was the central character of the whole freaking movie?
Anyone else remember that? I sure do.
#and remember how they didn’t sexualize her #remember how she was independent and didn’t need a male crutch #remember how when loki implied that she needed a man she completely tore him down #remember how natasha romanov doesn’t take shit from nobody #especially not a man
#can i mention how cool it is to have a variation of sherlock holmes where he says stuff like this #because it’s important #and this episode is my favourite so far because it’s surprisingly accurate #and it was just great to hear him say this #because sherlock holmes is of course intelligent and a modern sherlock would know this #and even though this holmes does have that social crass and indelicacy he’s softer in some ways to the others #which is what makes him different and a new take and interesting to watch #he’s a rare fictional example of a character who is pragmatic and driven and a bit socially blunt but also has a firm moral intelligence too #just because a character can be blunt and rude and not understand that they’ve just insulted someone doesn’t have to mean #that they don’t understand right from wrong (via teacupsandcyanide)
I always reference this scene when talking about Jonny as Holmes because this is what makes him the most Holmesian Holmes since the passing of the great Jeremy Brett.
Sherlock Holmes cares about people, he cares about justice, he cares about not what is legally right but what is morally right and this scene reminds me so much of Holmes’ concern for Violet Hunter in The Copper Beeches or Violet Smith in The Solitary Cyclist or Helen Stoner in The Speckled Band all women in close proximity to abusers/potential abusers and he’s so concerned for them.
That’s Sherlock Holmes, a man concerned with justice and the protection of victims. I love Jonny’s Holmes with a passion because this is my childhood hero returned.
Compassionate Holmes is surely my favorite. The one who gives a homeless man money for a room for the night, the one who tries to calm down a desperate sex slave by speaking to her in her tongue and holding her, the one who confronts a psychiatrist who manipulated one of his vulnerable patients into committing murder for him. All the awards.
I never read the Doyle books when I was younger, and so my perception of Holmes always came from modern adaptations where he’s a gigantically brilliant asshole (Moffat is not the only one guilty of this btw), and I was always very put off by him. But going back to the source material and watching Elementary, I’m kind of angry that people choose to erase that particular part of his personality. It’s a terrible betrayal of his character, and an action that highlights what said creators think about how leading, intelligent men should be.
#still the best thing in the history of television
the gradual domination of the Welcome to Night Vale fandom, part 2
very NSFW. this is the the cover of “honi soit”, a student magazine at sydney university featuring 18 different vulvas of students on campus. law students at the university threw the book at the magazine and forced then to censor the cover, which was deemed…not censored enough.
honi soit and the owners of the vulvas posted this on their facebook:
Eighteen vulvas. All belong to women of Sydney Uni. Why are they on the cover of Honi Soit?
We are tired of society giving us a myriad of things to feel about our own bodies. We are tired of having to attach anxiety to our vaginas. We are tired of vaginas being either artificially sexualised (see: porn) or stigmatised (see: censorship and airbrushing). We are tired of being pressured to be sexual, and then being shamed for being sexual.
The vaginas on the cover are not sexual. We are not always sexual. The vagina should and can be depicted in a non-sexual way – it’s just another body part. “Look at your hand, then look at your vagina,” said one participant in the project. “Can we really be so naïve to believe our vaginas the dirtiest, sexiest parts of our body?”
We refuse to manipulate our bodies to conform to your expectations of beauty. How often do you see an ungroomed vulva in an advertisement, a sex scene, or in a porno? Depictions of female genitalia in culture provide unrealistic images that most women are unable to live up to. “Beautiful vaginas are depicted as soft, hairless, and white.
The reality is that my vagina is dark and hairy, and when it isn’t it is pinkish and prickly,” said one of the participants in the project. We believe that the fact that more than 1200 Australian women a year get labiaplasty is a symptom of a serious problem. How can society both refuse to look at our body part, call it offensive, and then demand it look a certain way?
As one participant put it: “When it comes down to it, my vagina is just another part of my body, which can be viewed in a number of different ways, but the majority of the time is completely neutral, just like my mouth or my hands. It is not something to be ashamed of; it is not my dirty secret.”
Just before we went to print, we were told that our cover was illegal, possibly criminal. But why? According to the SRC’s legal advice, this publication might be “obscene” or “indecent”, likely to cause offence to a “reasonable adult”. But what is offensive or obscene about a body part that over half of the Australian population have? Why can’t we talk about it – why can’t we see it? Why is that penises are scrawled in graffiti all around the world, but we can’t bear to look at vaginas?
… Here they are, flaps and all. Don’t you dare tell me my body offends you.
read an entire (great) article about it HERE, in mamamia, who have further smart and brave things to say about the matter…and thanks @dragonsally for sending me the link.
raise a glass to these women.
as pointed out above, 1200 women get labiaplasty surgery in australia every year…many thousands more worldwide, i’m sure, mostly to nip and tuck their labia to look “pretty” and “normal”…ie “porn vadge”.
speaking as a vulva-owner with a labia the size of rhode island, i think it’s very nice to see vulvas portrayed in their natural states.
since porn images generally depict such a skewed view, where else are women going to see reality, if not…on tumblr?
“My mom Moxxi always told me if I slimmed down, menâd pay me more mind. Shows what she knows – I got these boys bendinâ over backwards just to get my attention and I didnât have to do nothinâ!”
Borderlands 2 – Ellie
Cosplay and post-process – Hija
Photo – Regan
My dad: Your sister’s crazy. Who’d want a $200 purse?
Me: She does.
My dad: What is it with ladies purses, anyway?
Me: (glancing at my purse) What do you mean?
My dad: How did that start–I mean, why do women use them? Doesn’t it get tiring carrying a bag around all the time?
Me: (stands up and turns around) See those pockets?
My dad: … Yes?
Me: What can I fit in them?
My dad: What?
Me: How many things do you think I could fit in my pockets? Honestly. How many things?
My dad: Doesn’t look like you could fit much.
Me: A pack of Orbit, some folded bills, and that’s about it. That’s why we use purses–because we can’t carry our shit in our pockets like you do.
My dad: But I can fit my wallet, my keys, and my cigarettes in my pockets!
Me: And your jeans also fit the way they should.
My dad: I’m almost afraid to ask, but what do you mean?
Me: Your jeans are sized by, what, your inseam and waist, right?
My dad: … Aren’t yours?
Me: I’m a size 3.
My dad: 3 what?
Me: No, just a 3. A size 3.
My dad: What does that mean?
Me: I actually have no idea. I’m a size 3 in these jeans. In some other jeans, I’m a 5. I’m a 7 in my favorite pair of shorts.
My dad: Wait, it’s not the same?
Me: Nope. A size 3 in one brand’s jeans is completely different from a size 3 in another brand.
My dad: That’s fucking stupid! How do you shop for them?!
Me: With great difficulty. This is why when you ask me what I did during the week and despite the fact I know you won’t care I sometimes tell you I found a pair of jeans. Because finding a pair of jeans that fit and fit well is like finding the Holy Grail with your name encrusted in diamonds on it
Jessica Williams proposes applying New York’s Stop and Frisk policy to Wall Street bankers.
This all day.
Get lost in a good book. I’ve been lost in a good book for ten years now, living in a shelter of torn paper and the bones of feral letters
Ron Weasley’s character is consciously written as somewhat racist. Not as racist as Malfoy, of course – he doesn’t scoff at mudbloods and halfbloods, and he doesn’t see himself as superior at all. Still, he unquestionably accepts the inferior position of house elves (they love serving), when he finds out that Lupin’s werewolf his reaction is not only scared but also disgusted (Don’t touch me!) and he is clearly very uncomfortable finding out that Hagrid is half-giant (giants are wild and savage).
And this is brilliant. Because it demonstrates that racism isn’t only present in clearly malicious and evil people, in the Malfoys and Blacks – it’s also there in warm, kind, funny people who just happened to learn some pretty toxic things growing up in a pretty toxic society. And they can unlearn them too, with some time and effort. Ron eventually accepts Hagrid’s parentage, lets Lupin bandage his leg and in the final battle, he worries about the safety of the house elves.
Some people are prejudiced because they are evil, and some people are prejudiced because they don’t know better yet. And those people can learn better, and become better people. And that’s an important lesson. The lesson taught about discrimination shouldn’t be “only evil people do it”, because then all readers will assume it doesn’t apply to them. Instead old JK teaches us “you too are probably doing it, and you should do stop ASAP”.
“Er—yes, I think so” said Ron. “I think Mum’s got a second cousin who’s an accountant, but we never talk about him.“ Literally the first conversation Ron and Harry have, and he says something off color about muggles.